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Kristen Darby
Childhood Cancer Survivor
Friendship
During Cancer
Throughout your life, friends are always going to be a huge part of
who you are. They shaped the person you were in the past, the person
you are now, and the person you’re going to be. If you have
experienced your friends not being there as much as they used to
since you’ve been diagnosed, you’re not the only one. When I was
diagnosed with cancer all of my friends came and visited me in the
hospital every chance they could. It went on like that for a while,
but as I got further into my chemo and treatments, the further away
my friends became. They stopped coming to see me, they stopped
calling, and after a while they stopped talking to me online. In a
time where I needed my friends the most, the majority of my friends
abandoned me. You’ll hear from a lot of people that “you find out
who your true friends are when you have cancer,” and that couldn’t
be more true. I’ve found that people your own age, especially
teenagers, avoid you because they know that they could be in the
same position. The fact that you have taught them that they are not
invincible doesn’t set very well, so in typical teenage fashion they
just avoid things they don’t want to believe. In other words- you
scare them. You scare them a lot. Since they have known you, you’ve
been “normal”, and they can’t handle the fact that you’re very sick.
They think that cancer isn’t supposed to affect kids, but you and I
know both know that they’re wrong. Teenagers tend to get caught up
in whatever is going on at that moment, and only what’s going on in
that moment. I’ve figured out that the main reason we hang out with
our friends at all is to keep the idea of the friendship alive.
Basically you have to remind them that you’re still alive and are
still their friend. Keep calling them, Instant messaging them,
hanging out with them- keep in touch in any way you can. I made the
mistake thinking that they would just be there for me, and they
weren’t. On days that you feel good and your counts are okay, go see
a movie with them or go to the mall; on days where you don’t feel so
hot, invite them over to watch a movie or TV. The important thing to
remember is that it’s not your fault that some friends don’t stick
around. The ones that don’t stick around were never really your
friends to begin with and probably wouldn’t have been your friend in
the future any way. The friendships that truly last through your
struggle are the only ones you would want to keep.
Read Kristen's Past Article:
Back to School Tips
Email Kristin at:
CCKristensKorner@yahoo.com |
